Brad Interviewed by MidWeek

Brad was interviewed by Katie Young giving his recommendations for dealing with holiday stress.  The article entitled "Dealing with Holiday Pressure" was in Midweek on December 19, 2007

Michelle Singletary - Washington Post Synidcated Columnist

Michelle Singletary, a noted Washington Post financial columnist, featured The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge as her final "Color of Money Book Club" selection for the year. In her December 2nd column she recommended the book and wrote in some detail about money scripts. Ms. Singletary's syndicated column runs in 140 newspapers with a combined readership of over 4,000,000. Her mention of our book was enough to jump the title to Amazon.com's top 350, its highest ranking ever! The article was entitled "Taking the Right Lesson from Scrooge".

To date, the column has run in The Columbus Dispatch, Tampa Tribune, Atlanta Journal Constitution, Times Dispatch, Providence Journal, Denver Post, The Oklahoman, and many others.

Michelle also featured Scrooge in her December 6th Washington Post Color of Money column called "Quiet Your Inner Scrooge".

Olivet Nazarene University - Spotlight

Brad was spotlighted in this month's Olivet Nazarene Univeristy online newsletter.  When asked how he first became interested in Psychology he states: "I used psychology to heal and figure out things from my own childhood and I just knew this was the area for me."

Ted featured in July 2007 Issue of Investment Advisor Magazine

Therapeutic Finance: Once, finance was finance and therapy was therapy. That’s different now- to the benefit of many advisors and their clients

by Olivia Mellan

From the July 2007 Issue of Investment Advisor Magazine

Embrace Your Mid-Life Crisis

From Brad

The theory that most adults experience a midlife crisis has, for the most part, been debunked by researchers. Only 25% of Americans over the age of 35 believe that they have experienced one. However, for those who have one, a midlife crisis is a period of emotional turmoil brought on by anxiety associated with growing older. It is a time of self doubt and introspection when someone realizes that life is half over. For some it is caused by the aging process itself. For others, a midlife crisis is triggered by the loss of a parent, a child leaving home, or problems or regrets in areas such as parenting, career, or the status of one’s primary relationship. A person may question significant life choices and feel bad about not accomplishing all that he or she once wanted to achieve. Contrary to popular belief, women are just as likely as men to experience a midlife crisis. While it sounds like something to be avoided, you may be surprised to hear that a midlife crisis can actually be a good thing.

A good thing?  At first glance, a midlife crisis doesn’t sound like fun at all. Maybe you feel like you have just awakened from a dream, finding yourself in a life you never wanted. Maybe you have a profound sense of dissatisfaction with your lack of accomplishment, career choice, career trajectory, partner, house or friends. Perhaps you’ve begun to question some of your core values or beliefs. You might be questioning the meaning of life itself, and wondering if you’ve frittered away your earlier years by being involved in some misguided pursuit.

Certainly, these thoughts and feelings can rattle us to the core. They can be uncomfortable or even downright painful. If you are experiencing a midlife crisis, it is normal to try to avoid experiencing feelings of sadness, regret or fear. However, I urge you to not rush through this period of introspection by making hasty decisions. Don’t distract yourself with a total lifestyle makeover too quickly. The discomfort and pain is your wake-up call to be a more conscious consumer of life.  If done correctly, a midlife crisis provides an excellent opportunity to improve your life and find fulfillment. In fact, if you have never experienced one, I encourage you to consider doing so.

However, please do yourself a favor and forgo the new sports car, the new job, and the new spouse for a while. Please also allow me to save you some wasted time, money, and grief. Your existential angst is not the fault of your partner, your children, or your boss. It is not due to the fact that your car is too old or your hair is graying or falling out. Believe it or not, resolving your midlife crisis is an internal journey, and changing all these external aspects of your life in a desperate search for joy or meaning will likely only cause you more pain and suffering.

While this may sound strange, embrace your midlife crisis and search for internal meaning.  Now is the time for you to reassess your values, your choices, and your goals. It is a time for you to rediscover what brings you meaning in life, and how you may be standing in your own way of feeling fulfilled. It fact, I argue that we would all benefit from experiencing a midlife crisis at least once a year- regardless of our age. There is something very beneficial to putting all pretenses aside, stepping out of our daily routine and asking ourselves the Big Questions: What is my life all about? Why am I here? What do I want to do with the time I have left on earth? What legacy do I want to leave for my family and for the world? What is most important to me? Is my life in concert with what I value most?

If you are blessed with a midlife crisis, welcome the opportunity to get clear about what you want in life. Take time to sit with the Big Questions without rushing to the hollow answers our consumer culture throws our way. Stay with your uncomfortable feelings. Don’t rush through them or try to speed away in your brand new sports car. When we stay present with the Big Questions long enough, the answers will come to us. When we do, our lives get infused with renewed passion, vigor, and direction. Don’t worry too much if it is temporarily the wrong direction. You can use next year’s midlife crisis to help you sort it out.

Dr. Brad Klontz can be reached by e-mail at brad@klontzcoaching.com. 

"Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge" Featured in Knoxnews.com

September 23, 2007

Scrooge Tale Offers Sound Financial Advice

by Paul Fain

Invisible Wounds

From Brad Klontz

Everything seemed fine at first. After serving fifteen months in Iraq, Carlo was happy to be home. It was great to be back with family, surfing, and working in the family business. But six months after his return, the dreams started. While Carlo came home uninjured, many of his friends weren’t so fortunate. On one patrol, Carlo’s unit was ambushed and his best friend was killed. Every night for the past month, Carlo has relieved the experience in his dreams. He wakes in a cold sweat and out of breath, overwhelmed with feelings of fear, sadness, powerlessness, and anger. Lately he has had trouble focusing at work as he can’t stop thinking about the incident. When news of the war comes on television, Carlo will change the channel or walk out of the room. More than once a loud noise has made Carlo jump, and one time he even dove to the ground to take cover. Carlo’s wife is beginning to complain that he is “distant” and “aloof.” Carlo finds himself becoming increasing irritable and short-tempered with his children.

Carlo is not alone. According to Lieutenant Commander and Navy Psychologist Dr. Erick Bacho, approximately 30% of returning soldiers experience significant mental health concerns. More than half of those, like Carlo, experience symptoms of posttraumatic stress. Since the Civil War, health professionals have noted the mental and emotional effects of war on soldiers. Terms such as “shell shock,” “combat fatigue,” and most recently, “posttraumatic stress,” have been used to describe an invisible emotional wound that can be just as debilitating as physical injury. Posttraumatic stress can follow an experience in which a person feels terrified, powerless, or at risk of severe harm or death. Individuals suffering with posttraumatic stress try to avoid thinking or talking their experiences. Despite their efforts, they may be flooded by thoughts, images, and overwhelming feelings triggered by even the slightest reminder of the trauma. They may startle easy, have trouble relaxing, or feel the need to check over their shoulder. Feelings of anxiety, nightmares, or “flashbacks,” - in which they feel like they are reliving an experience while fully awake- can begin to take over their lives.

War veterans experiencing posttraumatic stress often find it difficult to return to a normal life. It is difficult for them to talk about their experiences with their family, friends, or coworkers. They may not want to upset those they love with disturbing details, may feel guilt about what they did or did not do, or may fear being misunderstood or judged by those who can’t relate to their experiences.

Research has shown that psychotherapy can help Carlo heal. Providing Carlo with a safe place to confront the details of his traumatic experiences and process the associated thoughts and unresolved emotions can relieve him of his symptoms of posttraumatic stress. Unfortunately, according to Dr. Bacho, less than half of returning soldiers who experience mental health problems seek mental health services.

Carlo’s family and friends can play an important role in helping him heal his invisible wounds. Dr. Bacho recommends that families and friends consider the following tips to support returning veterans: 1) Plan a special homecoming for the returning soldier, which may include banners or a special meal. 2) Anticipate a "post-honeymoon" period. After the initial euphoria of the return, it is normal to feel out of synch with loved ones because all have grown and changed during the separation. It is not uncommon for symptoms of anxiety and depression to appear weeks or months after the reunion. 3) Ease into intimacy. It may take time to reestablish physical and emotional closeness after stressful situations. Spend time talking together. Sometimes it's easier to connect if you talk while doing something together, like taking a walk or working out.  4) Be patient. Fatigue, confusion, and worry can lead to short tempers and hurt feelings. 5) Expect children to test the rules when both parents are home. Set aside time with your spouse to come up with a parenting and household duties approach you both agree on (e.g., discipline, child care, housekeeping).  6) Know when to seek help. If you, your spouse, or other family members are feeling signs of physical or emotional stress, misuse of alcohol, or sleeping problems, it's important to seek expert help.

Regardless of one’s political views, Carlo, and all other returning soldiers have answered their country’s call to service. They have volunteered to put themselves in harm’s way to serve their friends, families, and communities. Now as friends, families, and community members, it is our turn to serve them.

Dr. Brad Klontz is the 2007 President-Elect of the Hawaii Psychological Association and coauthor of The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.  He can be reached by e-mail at brad@klontzcoaching.com.  For free, confidential referrals to a psychologist in your area, contact the HPA online at www.hawaiipsych.org or call (808) 521-8995.

Ted, Brad, Rick Kahler & "Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge" Featured on MSN Money

6/8/2007

When Couples Clash Over Cash

by Kris Kristof

Staying Happy at Work

From Brad

In a previous column (TGIM: Thank Goodness it’s Monday?, February 2007), I revealed that, believe it or not, on average, we are much happier on workdays than we are on weekends or during the holidays. Unlike our typical use of free time, work provides us with opportunities to use our skills to achieve goals. Even if it is just the goal of making money, work is more satisfying and reinforcing than watching our free time slip away while we are engaged in more passive activities, such as watching television.

While it may be true that most of us find more fulfillment at work than during our free time, it is also true that some jobs are more satisfying than others. How satisfying is your job? Researchers at the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago found that of the 27,000 people they surveyed, 47% were satisfied and 33% were “very happy” with their jobs.  Those who reported the highest levels of satisfaction had jobs that involved helping others.  Firefighters, clergy, special education teachers, and physical therapists were among those reporting the highest levels of job satisfaction, while salespeople, food preparers, and packagers reported the least amount of job satisfaction. But take heart. Whether you are employed in a job that typically provides less satisfaction, or you are an unhappy firefighter, clergy member, special education teacher or physical therapist, you can increase your happiness at work regardless of the characteristics of your particular job tasks.

Research has shown that high worker autonomy, more task variety, and a belief that one’s work is important are all associated with increased job satisfaction. However, researchers from Michigan State University recently discovered something even more important to job satisfaction- social relationships. They found that workplace friendships, frequency of interactions with others, and emotional support were strong predictors of happiness at work. They even found that the presence of these social supports can make up for lower pay. So if you are an employer or an employee in an industry with lower job satisfaction, or you are unhappy in a job with typical high job satisfaction, consider the following suggestions to help make an unsatisfying job better:

1.  Encourage social interactions in the workplace. If you are an employee, make a point of getting to know your coworkers. When you know and like the people you work with, you will look forward to going to work. If you are an employer, support and encourage connections between workers. An employer sponsored lunch, after hours social, or a weekend barbeque is a great place to start.

2. Find ways to encourage more worker autonomy. No one likes to have someone looking over his or her shoulder, and having choices makes everyone happier. 

3. Redesign a job to make it more challenging. This might involve rotating workers through a variety of tasks with increasing responsibility. Even rote tasks can become challenging when workers are encouraged to increase speed or output to earn an added benefit or reward.   

4. Identify a clear purpose, mission statement, and value of a particular job. Highlight how the job provides benefit to others, or how it fits into a larger social or industrial picture. Periodically remind employees of their specific positive contribution to the whole.

5. Consider including team building activities into your regular staff trainings. An afternoon of volunteer work or structured group activity can do wonders to increase morale. For a structured, facilitated, novel team building activity, consider taking your staff to an adventure course. For example, “Just Live!, Inc” in Puhi, Kauai has an Outdoor Teambuilding Facility and Ropes Course Challenge designed to assist with corporate teambuilding (www.justlive.org; 808-482-1295).

Even if your job is not all you want it to be, some simple steps can help you feel more satisfied about your work life.

Dr. Brad Klontz is the 2007 President-Elect of the Hawaii Psychological Association and coauthor of The Financial Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge.  He can be reached by e-mail at brad@klontzcoaching.com.  For free, confidential referrals to a psychologist in your area, contact the HPA online at www.hawaiipsych.org or call (808) 521-8995.

Ted featured in Dow Jones Newswires

PRACTICE MANAGEMENT: Boss Survival Tips For Financial Advisors DOW JONES NEWSWIRES

July 31, 2007 By Victoria E. Knight

A Dow Jones Newswires Column NEW YORK (Dow Jones)--If you want to make it as a financial advisor on Wall Street, you need to focus on building a good relationship with your boss as well as your clients. "A branch manager can make or break your career," says Mindy Diamond, president of Diamond Consultants, an executive search firm in Chester, N.J. How well you gel with your branch manager can be more important than who heads a brokerage firm. While chief executives set the tone of an organization, it is the branch managers who make decisions with day-to-day impact.

The problem is branch managers and advisors clash. "Compliance and resources are flashpoints," says Andre Cappon, president of CBM Group, a New York financial-consulting group. And in advisors' fast-paced, highly competitive environment, where billions of dollars in investors' money are at stake and big personalities abound, tensions can run high, especially when the market has taken a tumble. For example, an advisor may feel the branch manager is being overly zealous about compliance issues, impeding the ability to service clients. The branch manager, on the other hand, may feel advisors need to pay more attention to the recommendations they are making to clients because they may be putting the firm at risk. At most brokerages, branch managers are paid a salary plus a bonus based on the branch's production. When advisors who feel they are getting a raw deal are high producers, tensions rise even more.

So what are advisors' options? The bad news is that if you want to keep your job, it is in your interests to find ways to work with your branch manager. The good news is that, even if you can't change their behavior, there are techniques you can use to ameliorate your situation, while you figure out your next move.

Psychological Tools

The first positive step advisors can take, says psychologist Ted Klontz, co-founder of Klontz Kahler, a firm in Rapid City, S.D., that trains advisors in client communication, is to "end the blame game." Instead of complaining to co-workers, identify what the problem areas are and set up a time to talk to your boss. "If you work on your 50% of the relationship, it can be twice as good even if the other person doesn't change," says Klontz. At the meeting, offer suggestions about how you can better work together and ask for your boss's help in achieving this goal. (Asking for help is a subtle way of paying your boss a compliment.) You can also change the way you feel about your boss's behavior. Charles Dwyer, director and senior research analyst for the Management and Behavioral Science Center at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School, says humans can train their minds to respond however they choose to external stimuli. If you no longer want to feel stressed in a certain situation, you can overcome these feelings by replacing them with others. To do this you need to visualize the "trigger" situation - your boss yelling at you - and imagine you are experiencing feelings of calmness. If you repeat this exercise twice a day for two weeks, Dwyer says, you can reprogram your brain: "It's like muscle memory in athletes."

Weighing The Options

If you see no improvement, maybe it is time to reconsider your options: filing a complaint versus exiting the firm. Advisors often opt for the latter. Diamond, the recruitment consultant, says a bad relationship with a branch manager is the top reason advisors cite for wanting to switch firms. "I get calls like that all the time," she says. Firms have a vested interest in creating a harmonious working environment. It is going to be harder to attract and retain top talent at a branch if word gets around that a particular manager is difficult. Plus, a manager who singles out individual advisors can open the door to lawsuits. "High turnover at a branch is a red flag," says David Ritter, chair of the Labor and Employment Practice Group at Chicago law firm Neal Gerber & Eisenberg. Companies can avoid difficulties by putting in place systems that identify and fix problems - by sending managers for additional training - before they escalate. Anonymous "360-degree reviews" can help sound the alarm. Exit interviews can also provide insight into branch dynamics. But when can a manager's bad behavior become grounds for a lawsuit? "Many employees believe that harassment is unlawful, but it's only illegal if it affects a protected class as designated by a state or the federal government," says Joseph Schmitt, an attorney on the labor and employment team at Halleland Lewis Nilan & Johnson, a law firm in Minneapolis, who represents employers. Federal law prohibits discrimination and harassment against employees based on their race, ethnicity, religion, age or sex, among other things.

If you are an advisor encountering problems, talk to the branch manager first - if you can. If the situation fails to improve, then it is better to contact human resources rather than your boss's manager, Schmitt says. HR is likely to be more objective and able to put your situation in a wider context. Discrimination can take a variety of forms, such as name calling, but typically is more subtle. A branch manager might deliberately leave an advisor out of key meetings, thereby putting the advisor at a disadvantage to peers. Is a boss who is awful to everyone less likely to get in trouble? "There are equal opportunity harassers," says Schmitt, "but as a defense attorney it's hard to convince a jury that the individual is a jerk to everyone."